Monday, June 23, 2008

George Carlin dies at 71

I just woke up to read that George Carlin has passed away at age 71. If you don't know about this man, you should. He is basically Richard Pryor with no melanin. Made cursing an acceptable part of a comedic routine. I was just watching an old stand up show of his the other day, laughing my ass off.

You will be sorely missed.

My brother doesn't know who Carlin is, and is mocking my grief. He's a meanie. Kinda like when Joe Jackson scoffed at Michael when Ben died. Or maybe not. It's fucking early.

But Carlin's passing has made me realize just how wack today's comedians are. I used to stay up to watch Def Comedy Jam back in the day, and now I can't sit through one act. Why is it that so many people today have so little to say? Looking at our society today, there should be hours of material to work with. Yet people are still cooning and shucking and jiving. Here are some of the top comedians in the game now, along with my one/two sentence summary of their careers:

1. Dane Cook--He is actually a white coon. Says a couple funny things here and there, but America's obsession with people who 'just might be gay' is what makes him famous. In my opinion at least.

2. Steve Harvey--Can't front, I listen to his morning show every day on WBLS, but mainly because I can't bear to listen to Miss Jones' poultry-head ass(you pick a bird). He's moderately funny, but his country accent and loud talking is what gets him through.

3. Jimmy Kimmel--He makes me laugh on occasion, but he's a fucking schmuck.

4. Sarah Silverman--Something about her makes me feel like she doesn't bathe with any sort of regularity. Not funny at all. At all. She looks like an uglier version of this chick on HBO's "Tell Me You Love Me".

5. Mike Myers--Seriously? Why is this man continuing to earn money? I understand the Wayne's World/Austin Powers dynasty, but all great dynasties are destined to end.

Here are some people who are fucking hilarious, no matter what the fuck they say:

Patton Oswalt
--That KFC bowl joke is fucking champion status.

Paul Mooney--I saw him perform straight from 7pm to 1 in the morning at Caroline's. I literally laughed myself to sleep.

50 Cent--My team has been said that he should become a stand up comedian. His timing is impeccable.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Summer Madness--I will be at this Block Party this Saturday

Apparently The Dugout has taken over mad streets in Brooklyn this Saturday as part of Make Music New York, an organization that puts on live outdoor shows throughout the city. This event below is the big one, but I hear there are shows at:

Southpaw (5th Ave and St. John's)
Solomon's Porch Cafe (Halsey St.)
Food for Thought (Marcus Garvey)

"The Take Over" Make Music New York
North 12th Street Block Party (between Bedford Ave. & Berry St., McCarren Park)

Hosted by The Dugout, The Real Live Show, New Rap Order, WheatBread Radio, CasaNova Studios, Boring Inc.
Saturday, June 21st, 12pm - 8pm

This Block party is definitely the place to be this first day of summer. A Street event like no other, this "Take Over" event combines some of NYC's most buzz worthy and innovative live bands with some of the region's most notable rising Hip-Hop front runners. With a music tent, Break dance crews, celebrity DJs, and FREE BARBECUE, this block party follows the lead of Dave Chappelle's landmark event by taking Brooklyn by storm. Come eat, listen, dance, celebrate, and be merry as we Take Over Brooklyn, the Brooklyn way this first day of summer as part of NYC's citywide Make Music New York festival!

Featured Acts
Sankofa Presents...
Nova Clutch
Caktuz Tree..?13 of Wheatbread Radio
The Real Live Show
The Dugout
The Antidote

Also Featuring
DJs Silva Sir Fa, DJs Stimulus & Dhundee of The Brooklyn Bounce, DJ Parler and DJ K-Black of The Urban Go Green Tour

Smart Water/Vitamin Water
Honest Tea
WheatBread Radio

Event will also be streamed globally via internet radio on WheatBread radio of the PNC Network. Event will also air the following week on Local Television on NROtv. There will also be a virtual concert in Second Life's virtual Skybar, Cak'z Oasiz

This event is in conjunction with Make Music New York, a city-wide event of over 800 concerts to occur outdoors on the first day of summer, Saturday June 21st.
for information go to the timeout ny site

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Friday, June 13, 2008

Rascality--The Disease of African Irritation

I received this book as a gift from a dear friend.

This book is one of the most important scholarly offerings in terms of affirming Africa's deserved place in World History.

The book gives ample evidence to support the fact that Africa is the real mother of what we call 'civilization'. The authors contend that the greatest scholars from Greece and Rome all received their knowledge from African learning centers, and even gave credit to their instructors. Over time, Eurocentric historians have sought to discredit and deny the existence and influence of the African continent.

This blog is dedicated to one specific term-- RASCALITY. I will rewrite the passage European medical misdiagnosis, as written by Molefi Kete Asante:

"The assumptions that caused doctors to misdiagnose Africans were based on attitudes about slavery. How could an African want anything other than slavery? Thus, any African who ran away from the plantation had to be suffering from a particularly bad form of drapetomania, the desire to leave forced labor. If the African happened to show a dislike a for slavery and the overseer or master of the plantation, he or she was diagnosed as having rascality, a disease of Africans who are irritated by their environment.

According to this definition, I am most certainly a RASCAL. As I reflect on [White] American Independence day, my rascality jumps into full gear when I see Black people waving US flags and playing the Star Spangled Banner.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Newports are the 'black cigarette'

Tisch Family owns Newport cigarettes

I read this article the other day in the NY Times. Turns out the Tisch family, long known for its philanthropy, owns the second-most popular cigarette brand, none other than Newport.

They own or have owned all other types of wild shit, including Loew's Theaters, CBS, wild hotels, hospitals, and NYU.

The article suggests that the family no longer wants to be associated with the cigarette, and have apparently been trying to sell it off for the last 40 years. FORTY. I don't buy it folks. Our country specializes in profiting off of our death and illness, so you mean to tell me no one wanted a piece of the second largest cigarette company? I guess the billions of dollars they made helped to ease the guilt.

I found it kinda funny that the Times even knows that Newports are the 'black cigarettes'.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Be A Nigger Too

My buzzin' Rasheed sent the team a link to this new Nas video here.

Say what you will about the brother, but I am going to give him credit for the efforts he's making with this new album. When I first heard that he was no longer calling his album 'Nigger', I was very disappointed with him. I'm tired of black people lacking the courage to, as Malcolm once said, 'tell the white man the truth to his face'. Or tell anyone the truth to their face for that matter. I cringed as Obama denounced his own pastor in order to win the belt (this political shit is as phony and entertaining as wrestling nowadays), and I cover my face when I see Sam Jackson star in "A Time to Kill" only to move on to "Snakes on A Plane".

From what I'm seeing, however, Nas' case is slightly different. He appears to only be changing the title of the album, whereas none of the content will be different. So if this change means that a few more people will purchase the joint and listen to it, then I'm okay with that. It's better than them not listening to it at all.

Quite frankly, there are many folks out here who have no understanding of racism and its direct impact on their lives. Pre-1970, you might see someone getting lynched or firehosed and realized that something's up. Even your typical white bigot knew that their actions bore some sort of prejudice. But today racism is far more subtle and difficult to detect. The young Dominican in an NY public school may have no idea just how inferior the facilities are compared to the virtually whites-only private school just a mile away. The hipster gentrifier who jogs down St. Nicholas or Nostrand Ave. doesn't realize that their mere presence has driven up the price of just about everything in the hood. They don't understand that the reason bodega prices are so cheap is because most neighborhood people can't afford Gristede's and Fairway prices.

The issues that Nas addresses on this record are important for people to hear, because for some, they may never hear it anywhere else. I consider myself to be fairly well read on race matters, but I didn't get most of my knowledge until I got to high school and college. And that's only because I took classes that focused on race. We have people in this country who think racism doesn't exist, yet continue to simultaneously cast Obama as a Muslim while criticizing his Christian pastor!

I'll leave this blog on that note right there.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

It's Hot Outside

Given my utter hatred for heat and humidity, I find it hard to believe that I am a descendant of Africa. Anytime it passes oh, 80 degrees, I turn into this fellow here:

I once read that Patrick had to take a shower at halftime, and change into a brand new uniform. I feel him.

Here are five things that get me through an unbearable summer day:

1. Scantily clad women--Even if they're drenching with sweat it's fucking awesome, because then you get a potential wet-T shot. Ladies, I know I've offended you, but you we were looking already.

2. Italian Ice--my personal favorites are served up by the Latina women in the hood who scoop your mango-flavored sugar ice with a pot spoon. I'm not feeling that those shits are a dollar now. Used to be a cool quarter. But then you could only get cherry or coconut.

3. My sweat rag--I'm still on the hunt for the perfect sweat rag. Paper towels are only good for two, maybe three swipes before they shed on your forehead like an Amazonian rattlesnake. Washcloths are okay only if you can rinse and wring them out. Otherwise, it's like wiping your face with a dirty, sticky towel.

4. My one pair of shorts--Folks, I own exactly one pair of shorts, and yes, you will see me rocking those shits on any given hot day. I got camoflauge too, so they could match with everything. And if they don't match the shirt, I'll look like a hipster. I'm not a total dirtbomber, the drawers are different.

5. Diet and exercise--I know that's two things, but if you got a problem, get your own blog. I always get the urge to exercise and eat less during this time of year, and I come back to work in the fall to much fanfare. Maybe I need to move to Arizona or something.

Honorable mention
A sack of bud--I get so blazed that I can't tell if it's hot or not. This also works for winter time!

Here's a golden oldie for y'all: