The Real World--Same ol' Hollywood Shuffle

I can't even lie, I'm a straight sucker for reality TV. Here are my most favorite:

1. Top Chef--Though I probably wouldn't eat any of the food they prepare, I would taste test Padma for sheezy. The show has actually inspired me to cook now, though. My rap is like ziti, and my ziti tastes like a dude named Luigi made it.


2. Deadliest Catch--Never seen a brother on there, prolly never will. We don't really do the artic circle like that. But those dudes are gully as fuck.


3. Deion and Pilar--Deion Sanders is the fucking champ. His one-liners are classic, and Pilar is a living, breathing, Barbie doll. Now I don't necessarily want the women I date to be Barbie replicas, but I would certainly smash one to pieces.


Now onto the meat of the blog sandwich:


I've never really been too big on the Real World, the mother of all reality tv. But I've been drawn to watch the latest season, which takes place in Hollywood. I had heard that MTV dared to put three, yes, 3, black people into the same house, at the same time. I truly can't stand any of them, but that dude Greg is really making me a fan. He blacked out in a manner I've only seen executed by the assholes I chill with. Greg humiliation of those cockblocking ass white girls(I should mention that cockblocking is a federal offense. In man court. Seriously, we fucking hate that shit). Then he took the manhood of Sarah's boyfriend for fun. And not one Negro fist was thrown to shame the race. Speaking of throwing a fist, this clip I found made me fux with the Gregster that much more:

Greg destroying a heavy bag with his cousin

I chose this particular picture to highlight the other black guy on the show, Will. Son is bitch(note: different from being 'a bitch'). Not feeling how he schemed on Greg's girl. Not because it's Greg, and not because it's violation to try to bag your roomate's girl(also a felony in man court. Unless your roomate asks you to. Then it's different).

The problem is that he has splintered a friendship with the only other brother over a white girl's underwear. On some real Birth of A Nation, 'protect the virtue of the white woman' shit. Some of you may not feel me, but hear me out.

Black unity is important, especially when that union is in the public eye. Why? Because we have no fucking Black Unity. Why? Because our self-hatred brainwashes us and makes us afraid to stand together in the face of the public. We fear we'll get chopped down.

No one else wanted to punch the fucking wall after learning that Greg stole the girl's panties. Granted, that shit was mad, mad weird, and strange(like weird), but Will should have confronted him directly, like a fucking man. Instead, he goes after Greg's girl to upset him. Did I mention she was white?

Shit really reminds me of Barack denouncing Reverend Wright. The stakes are high, but what are we really gambling with?

Some random shit that needed to be said. By me, anyways...

1. I'm not a fan of reality television, but I watch the hell out of it. I peeped how at the end of VH1 commercials, a quiet voice says, "Watch and Discuss". Reminds me of the old popcorn scent in the movie theater trick. Subliminal messages y'all, watch out!

All that aside, I watched Making the band 4 this weekend. And I REALLY want to smash out that chick Aubrey of Danity Kane. The one with the silver pum-pum shorts. I would also give honorable mention to D. Woods, who would also get it. It is simply part of a man's nature to survey a group of women, and pick who you would/would not smash out. Which leads me to say that Shannon looks horrible with that blonde hairstyle. I would've smashed her in that redhead 'do.

What brought me to this conclusion about Aubrey though was minute 2:04 of this video below. As Lennon once said, Imagine.




2. The black nihilist in me makes it difficult to accept the Obamania sweeping the nation. If he is even 10% as genuine as he comes off, then we will have a better leader for this country. Peep his extremely well-crafted speech on race, given yesterday:



3. Lebron James will be the best player. Ever. If it isn't Kobe.

Fuck Jordan with his elitist ass. I heard he used to fuck Janet Jackson at every All-Star game. Props for that. Should've fucked her at the Super Bowl that year.

4. Nothing can look, smell, taste, and feel better than a woman. A nagging woman, however, sounds like Lee press on nails on a chalkboard.

5. Family is the most important thing. To me.

6. The hood NEEDS to stop smoking Dutches and Newports.

7. As sick as I am of these so-called rap beefs, Papoose REALLY went in on Fat Joe in "A Fair One". That section about Joe reppin the South now instead of the BX is, well, true. Shit was a bit long(7 minutes plus), but this is how beefs should go down. On wax, not Photoshop.



8. Eliot Spitzer. Ha. Karma is a bad bitch, ain't she? I would've smashed Kristin, if she wasn't a WHORE. And a whore who charges 4 G's. Bananas. But, playing Devil's advocate, I guess a $10 DC prostitute isn't the most appealing sight to see.

9. Buddha was black. Yeah, that Buddha. Had cornrows and everything. Check for yourself. And just because someone is accredited by fucking Harvard, Yale, or Princeton, doesn't mean he/she is not a scholar. Maybe what their research proves is that these institutions have largely based their assumed superiority on a web of lies meant to support white supremacy.

10. Haile Selassie I is a direct descendant of King Solomon and David. He ruled Ethiopia, the only African nation to not be conquered by Europe. Ever. More on that later...