Thursday, May 22, 2008

The Real World--Same ol' Hollywood Shuffle

I can't even lie, I'm a straight sucker for reality TV. Here are my most favorite:

1. Top Chef--Though I probably wouldn't eat any of the food they prepare, I would taste test Padma for sheezy. The show has actually inspired me to cook now, though. My rap is like ziti, and my ziti tastes like a dude named Luigi made it.

2. Deadliest Catch--Never seen a brother on there, prolly never will. We don't really do the artic circle like that. But those dudes are gully as fuck.

3. Deion and Pilar--Deion Sanders is the fucking champ. His one-liners are classic, and Pilar is a living, breathing, Barbie doll. Now I don't necessarily want the women I date to be Barbie replicas, but I would certainly smash one to pieces.

Now onto the meat of the blog sandwich:

I've never really been too big on the Real World, the mother of all reality tv. But I've been drawn to watch the latest season, which takes place in Hollywood. I had heard that MTV dared to put three, yes, 3, black people into the same house, at the same time. I truly can't stand any of them, but that dude Greg is really making me a fan. He blacked out in a manner I've only seen executed by the assholes I chill with. Greg humiliation of those cockblocking ass white girls(I should mention that cockblocking is a federal offense. In man court. Seriously, we fucking hate that shit). Then he took the manhood of Sarah's boyfriend for fun. And not one Negro fist was thrown to shame the race. Speaking of throwing a fist, this clip I found made me fux with the Gregster that much more:

Greg destroying a heavy bag with his cousin

I chose this particular picture to highlight the other black guy on the show, Will. Son is bitch(note: different from being 'a bitch'). Not feeling how he schemed on Greg's girl. Not because it's Greg, and not because it's violation to try to bag your roomate's girl(also a felony in man court. Unless your roomate asks you to. Then it's different).

The problem is that he has splintered a friendship with the only other brother over a white girl's underwear. On some real Birth of A Nation, 'protect the virtue of the white woman' shit. Some of you may not feel me, but hear me out.

Black unity is important, especially when that union is in the public eye. Why? Because we have no fucking Black Unity. Why? Because our self-hatred brainwashes us and makes us afraid to stand together in the face of the public. We fear we'll get chopped down.

No one else wanted to punch the fucking wall after learning that Greg stole the girl's panties. Granted, that shit was mad, mad weird, and strange(like weird), but Will should have confronted him directly, like a fucking man. Instead, he goes after Greg's girl to upset him. Did I mention she was white?

Shit really reminds me of Barack denouncing Reverend Wright. The stakes are high, but what are we really gambling with?


StarPower said...

Will's not a bitch like "son look at that bitch over there..." more like "Son, ay, look at that bitch over there! AY BITCH!"

He really looked like a herb when he almost went home for WANTING to punch Greg. Loser.

And that clip really showed me that Greg is a nigga. As in my nigga. And he's really doing them a favor by not being the Greg who he obviously is away from Hollywood. That nigga was talkin' a lot different in that clip.

The Barber Shop said...

Word SP. Real niggas(as in, my niggas) know that you can't say or do certain shit unless it's followed by a fist or two. I wish Will would have just grazed Greg a bit, so that the thrashing could have commenced. I ain't one for black on black violence, but somebody should have gotten knocked the fuck out.

Brianna knew what time it was with Greg, that's why she was trying so hard to quell the tension.

I give Greg a lot of credit for not killing somebody after all the 'your dead father thinks you a fag' commentary. I would have personally lost my shit.

Kray said...

you guys know next season of this particular program is to be titled: "Real World: Brooklyn"

or that's the rumor going around